Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Massive Wall Of (Poorly Written) Text Complaining About TV

HOUSE: HOUSE is like watching the old VOLTRON cartoon from the 80s. Pretty much the exact same thing happens in nearly every episode. Sure, from time to time they throw you a curve ball, but for the most part you're watching the exact same thing over and over. (To be fair, on VOLTRON they even reused the same footage over and over. HOUSE has yet to do that.) I once found myself describing HOUSE, a show I loved at the time, as thus, "The nice thing about watching HOUSE on DVD is you can fall asleep halfway through one episode and wake up during the middle of another episode and not realize you missed anything." Hugh Laurie being a good actor can only carry my viewing interest so far. Switching out his team for a bunch of bland ciphers didn't help. (Olivia Wilde is pretty, but her character, "13", is about as interesting as a paperclip. Despite this, the writers seem to be so fascinated with the character and at least when I was watching, she'd practically become the focus of the show.) After a few episodes into season five, I found myself asking, "Why am I still watching this show that I'm not enjoying?" So I stopped. Here's a few other shows that might be joining HOUSE.

Shows that I used to love but have been disappointing me...

THE OFFICE: I think the show was at it's absolute best in season two. Season three was also really good. Season four is where I started to notice a decline and found myself losing interest. Now, in season five, I still watch, but I find myself not caring if I miss an episode. The show keeps straying from its original concept of life at a mid-level paper company with an obnoxious boss and has pretty much become a live action cartoon. The characters, their motivations, and some of the situations they find themselves in seem to become more and more ridiculous all the time. When every person in the office is a zany character that does whacky things, it dilutes the concept. That's something that never happened with the UK version, since Gervais and Merchant knew when to pull the plug.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: Another show that I feel peaked in its second season. Season three was the start of the decline for me. The shortened season just was missing some x-factor that the first two seasons had that kept me captivated. Aside from a few episodes that were pretty good, I was underwhelmed by third season. The stunt-casting of Britney Spears at the height of her public meltdown didn't help matters. So far, season four hasn't been doing much for me as a viewer. I wish I could define exactly why the show doesn't interest me as much as it used to. I understand that the show has to essentially tread water, because most people believe the show will be over once they reveal the titular mother.

HEROES: Well, I'm hardly the only one who thinks that one has been circling the drain since season two. I'm also not the only one constantly asking myself why I keep watching it? There's no point in describing how this one lost me since the internet is bogged down with everybody else's (rightful) gripes with HEROES. I'm afraid to go back and re-watch the first season, because I figure that I'll probably discover that season one was pretty crappy as well, and only worked so well at the time because it was something somewhat new and different for TV.

Shows that are ending so even if I'm getting burned out on them, I'll see how they end...

PRISON BREAK: I had high hopes during the first few episodes of this current (and final) season. They seemed to be shaking up the status quo and giving the show a different purpose. Too bad that status quo never really went anywhere. I still watch the show, but Fox is right to axe it now. There'll be no, "They should make a movie out of this," petition internet nerd rage capaign for this one. Oh, who am I kidding. Somebody will start one, if they haven't already. I just want to see how they can possibly wrap up this massively ridiculous conspiracy storyline.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Now, I still find this show to have some excellent episodes. It's just too bad that season three and bits of season four had tons of filler episodes that overwhelmed the good stuff. The balance had shifted. There was too much focus on religious debate and characters crying. Not enough moving the plot forward. The first two seasons seemed to combine the two more seamlessly. Like PRISON BREAK, part of me will be glad when this one is over although I'll probably miss BSG much more than PB.

SCRUBS: Good episodes have been sporadic since the start of the fifth season. This one's coming to an end soon, and seems to have pulled out of the nosedive slightly in season eight with the switch to ABC. I still hate the JD character, which places this next to HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER in the, "I watching this show despite hating the main character" category for me.

Shows that I still enjoy, but can see the writing on the wall eventually...

BURN NOTICE: While ennui hasn't set in for me yet with BURN NOTICE, I know it will sooner or later. Probably sooner. BURN NOTICE, like HOUSE, is what I call a "treadmill show". It gives the appearance of forward motion, but we're not really getting anywhere. Things slightly move the underlying premise forward, but usually for every step forward, they take about five steps back. We're never going to find out who burned Michael Weston and why until the show is ending. Like HOUSE, NOTICE is also a "done in one, plot of the week show". This is fine and enjoyable for a few seasons, but eventually it gets old. You can only watch the characters intimidate these supposedly ruthless criminals and scare them out of town so many times. (A spy would realistically have zero qualms with killing these guys off and disposing of their bodies in a way they couldn't be found. I guess broadcast non-pay TV just isn't ready for that sort of protagonist.) By the start of season three or four, just hearing a sentence begin with, "When you're a spy..." will be enough to make my testicles shrink up and send me running for the remote screaming.

CHUCK: Another "treadmill, done in one show". I love CHUCK, but what are the odds of there being that many evil spies in that one particular town? Like other treadmill shows, this one only has the illusion of change. Most things are reset back to zero by the end of an episode, occasionally two. It's working for me now, but I'm already starting to fing myself more interested in the antics of the non-spy characters at the Buy More than any of the "enemy spy of the week" stuff.

30 ROCK: This show, for me, came dangerously close to strapping on the waterskis and looking for fins this season with the parade of annoying celebrity guest stars at the start of the season. Getting Oprah and Jennifer Anniston might bring in a few new eyeballs, but mine definitely wanted to depart during those episodes.

There are still shows that I enjoy without many complaints. I didn't bother listing them here, since that's not the point of this post. I guess I wonder if anybody else that watches some of these shows agrees with me. On the upside, maybe all of these shows wearing out on me eventually is a good thing. Then I can go back to watching very little TV, and instead watching mostly movies. I'm definitely not going to say anything crazy like if I spent less time watching TV, maybe I'd spend more time outdoors. That horrible glowing yellow thing and all sorts of horrible animals that walk on two legs are out there.

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