My brother died a year ago today. I still miss him. That's all.
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My Resident Evil Retrospective: Me, My Brother, And RE
My brother Dave is the one who got me into the RESIDENT EVIL series of games. You see, he got a Playstation before I did. I think it was Christmas 1997. He got the console, and the only two games that I remember him showing me were FINAL FANTASY VII and the director's cut version of RESIDENT EVIL. I thought RE was cool, but after seeing the commercials, and all the hype, I was more interested in FINAL FANTASY VII at that moment. In fact, I remember him letting me borrow the console around New Years, and I spent New Years '97 into '98 playing FF7.
Eventually though, I tried out RESIDENT EVIL, and I loved it. I was already into zombie movies, so a video game about the same thing? Well, that's just exactly something that seems like it was made for me. So I played RE a few times, even doing the speed runs to get the infinite ammo rocket launcher and magnum, then I gave my brother his cool toy back.
Before long I got my own Playstation. Just in time too, since RESIDENT EVIL 2 was coming out. I'm pretty sure I was fairly broke at the time, so instead of buying that one, I rented it. The cool thing about that game was that the two discs followed a different character, and depending on which one you played as first the story was different. So, I took one disc, my brother took the other, and then we traded off, twice and both of us beat both game scenarios.
I remember getting RESIDENT EVIL 3 before it came out in the US. I got my hands on an import copy of BIOHAZARD 3, and luckily I had a modded Playstation so I could play import titles. (I also had STREET FIGHTER ZERO 3, or ALPHA 3, imported well before it hit US stores.) I was a bit disappointed in 3, and didn't bother to get the US version. My brother seemed to like it though, since he bought it after trying my import version. Since the dialog was in English, and the in-game text was in Japanese, we had to resort to online walk-thrus for some of the puzzles.
Next up, was CODE VERONICA for the Dreamcast. My brother was always one of those people who got the newest machines a little after launch. Never the guy to wait in line, or pay ridiculous amounts of money on eBay. He'd just wait a month or so, and get the new machine. Since I was still on the PS, I had to borrow the DC to check the game out. I remember liking it. So when it came out for the PS2, I picked it up. So did my brother, because he was a collector. Come to think of it, I have a copy of it for Dreamcast too. (I eventually got a Dreamcast for $25 from EB when that console was abandoned by Sega.)
After that there was a bit of a split. On the Playstation 2, we got two terrible "online" versions of the game called OUTBREAK. I have both of them. They're terrible. My brother, who I thought would be the only person on the planet patient enough to play through these games in their entirety, never so much as tried them out even once. Clearly, he was smarter than I am.
Instead, Dave had a Gamecube. The RESIDENT EVIL main series was going exclusive to that machine, so finally he had something to play on it besides METROID and ZELDA.
First up was a remake of the first RESIDENT EVIL. The graphics on that version were amazing and I was psyched when I got to borrow the 'Cube and play through a much better looking version of that game that got me hooked back in late '97.
After that came RESIDENT EVIL ZERO. Again, the graphics were great, but like RE3, this one didn't grab me. I've re-played the remake once or twice, but I only played through ZERO once.
Finally, there was RESIDENT EVIL 4. I remember when that hit for the Gamecube. My brother and I sat up for a day and a half playing it. Switching off. It was a bit unusual, since we always tended to play single-player by ourselves and let the other guy borrow the game or even console for however long it took them. So playing a brand new game for the first time this way was a bit unusual. Personally, RE4 was so awesome, that it ruined the other games in the series for me. I couldn't go back to their clunky controls and bad camera angles. Dave, however, re-played the old games, even the ones from the Playstation era, every few months. Naturally, both of us bought the PS2 version of the game when it came out a few months later.
We were both disappointed by the movies, yet we both owned the first two. (In my case, both on DVD and Blu-Ray.)
RESIDENT EVIL 5 coming out was bittersweet for me. Both my brother and I were looking forward to the game. Of course, he passed away last year, before the game came out. So while I've been looking forward to the game, and was excited when I got it, it did make me incredibly sad that I can't share it with my brother. Part of the fun in these games for me was talking to him about the story or just talking about playing. There was also some fun to be had watching each other play and mocking the other guy when he got his character killed. Don't get me wrong. I was still able to enjoy RE5. I guess, as strange as it might sound to some people, I'll always associate the RESIDENT EVIL series with him. In fact, I chose RESIDENT EVIL 5 over STREET FIGHTER IV, which I'll get eventually, because I think if my brother was to choose between the two he would've gone with RE.
Eventually though, I tried out RESIDENT EVIL, and I loved it. I was already into zombie movies, so a video game about the same thing? Well, that's just exactly something that seems like it was made for me. So I played RE a few times, even doing the speed runs to get the infinite ammo rocket launcher and magnum, then I gave my brother his cool toy back.
Before long I got my own Playstation. Just in time too, since RESIDENT EVIL 2 was coming out. I'm pretty sure I was fairly broke at the time, so instead of buying that one, I rented it. The cool thing about that game was that the two discs followed a different character, and depending on which one you played as first the story was different. So, I took one disc, my brother took the other, and then we traded off, twice and both of us beat both game scenarios.
I remember getting RESIDENT EVIL 3 before it came out in the US. I got my hands on an import copy of BIOHAZARD 3, and luckily I had a modded Playstation so I could play import titles. (I also had STREET FIGHTER ZERO 3, or ALPHA 3, imported well before it hit US stores.) I was a bit disappointed in 3, and didn't bother to get the US version. My brother seemed to like it though, since he bought it after trying my import version. Since the dialog was in English, and the in-game text was in Japanese, we had to resort to online walk-thrus for some of the puzzles.
Next up, was CODE VERONICA for the Dreamcast. My brother was always one of those people who got the newest machines a little after launch. Never the guy to wait in line, or pay ridiculous amounts of money on eBay. He'd just wait a month or so, and get the new machine. Since I was still on the PS, I had to borrow the DC to check the game out. I remember liking it. So when it came out for the PS2, I picked it up. So did my brother, because he was a collector. Come to think of it, I have a copy of it for Dreamcast too. (I eventually got a Dreamcast for $25 from EB when that console was abandoned by Sega.)
After that there was a bit of a split. On the Playstation 2, we got two terrible "online" versions of the game called OUTBREAK. I have both of them. They're terrible. My brother, who I thought would be the only person on the planet patient enough to play through these games in their entirety, never so much as tried them out even once. Clearly, he was smarter than I am.
Instead, Dave had a Gamecube. The RESIDENT EVIL main series was going exclusive to that machine, so finally he had something to play on it besides METROID and ZELDA.
First up was a remake of the first RESIDENT EVIL. The graphics on that version were amazing and I was psyched when I got to borrow the 'Cube and play through a much better looking version of that game that got me hooked back in late '97.
After that came RESIDENT EVIL ZERO. Again, the graphics were great, but like RE3, this one didn't grab me. I've re-played the remake once or twice, but I only played through ZERO once.
Finally, there was RESIDENT EVIL 4. I remember when that hit for the Gamecube. My brother and I sat up for a day and a half playing it. Switching off. It was a bit unusual, since we always tended to play single-player by ourselves and let the other guy borrow the game or even console for however long it took them. So playing a brand new game for the first time this way was a bit unusual. Personally, RE4 was so awesome, that it ruined the other games in the series for me. I couldn't go back to their clunky controls and bad camera angles. Dave, however, re-played the old games, even the ones from the Playstation era, every few months. Naturally, both of us bought the PS2 version of the game when it came out a few months later.
We were both disappointed by the movies, yet we both owned the first two. (In my case, both on DVD and Blu-Ray.)
RESIDENT EVIL 5 coming out was bittersweet for me. Both my brother and I were looking forward to the game. Of course, he passed away last year, before the game came out. So while I've been looking forward to the game, and was excited when I got it, it did make me incredibly sad that I can't share it with my brother. Part of the fun in these games for me was talking to him about the story or just talking about playing. There was also some fun to be had watching each other play and mocking the other guy when he got his character killed. Don't get me wrong. I was still able to enjoy RE5. I guess, as strange as it might sound to some people, I'll always associate the RESIDENT EVIL series with him. In fact, I chose RESIDENT EVIL 5 over STREET FIGHTER IV, which I'll get eventually, because I think if my brother was to choose between the two he would've gone with RE.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas Wrap-Up
Well, Christmas has come and gone.
On Christmas Eve, I got talked into going to an early evening mass. For those of you not in the know, I'm not a church-goer. The fact that I've gone twice this year, and one of them was a funeral, speaks volumes. I was completely lost on the whole stand up, sit down, Catholic workout thing. I'm just not religious and the whole church thing, for me, is boring and uncomfortable. But it seemed important to my mother that I go, and occasionally I'm a halfway good son.
Since it was Christmas, in the afternoon I went with my parents to the cemetery to see my brother. Maybe I'm a gigantic pussy or something, but I hate going there. (I'm not scared or anything dumb like that. I hate going because it depresses me. In fact, visiting the grave earlier was the only time I can recall crying since the day of the funeral.) I've only gone to the mausoleum a handful of times since he died. I prefer to just remember my brother the way he was, and I think he'd understand, and probably be the same way if our situations were reversed. I know that I couldn't handle going every day like my father does. Don't get me wrong, I don't think an hour that I'm awake goes by where I don't think about my brother in some way. (I often catch myself thinking that I need to ask or tell him about something I saw or read.) Anyway, the cemetery aside, Christmas wasn't as depressing as I anticipated. I braced myself for the worst, but I think for the most part everybody held up pretty well, all things considered. (It still would've been better if things hadn't gone the way they had in October though.)
Moving along to more cheery topics...
I'm happy with all of my gifts, except for one. (I got a defective copy of SAINTS ROW for the Xbox 360. There was a round bump on the part of the disc near the hole in the center, which apparently makes it impossible for the 360 to read it. So I have to go through the process of returning it to Amazon and waiting for them to get it back in stock. Luckily, they pay for the postage on the return, and hopefully it doesn't take long to get a replacement.)
GEARS OF WAR 2 is pretty good. I installed it to the 360's hard drive, and I've played quite a bit of it. (The other two games I got were the aforementioned SAINTS ROW and it's sequel. I did try SR2, and it's pretty much what I expected. A nice GTA substitute.)
The games, and a few other "practical and essential" gifts like a new electric razor* aside, the rest of my haul was Blu-Rays and DVDs. The one thing I hate about Blu-Rays (aside from them usually costing a bit more than regular DVDs) is that they make watching regular DVDs a bit painful. Switching from seeing how THE DARK KNIGHT looks on Blu-Ray to 30 ROCK on DVD is like throwing bleach in your eyes. Anyway, I got a lot of both, so I shouldn't be complaining about having nothing to watch for at least a week or two.
On a related note... Am I the only one who can never decide whether or not to throw away or keep that (useless) cardboard sleeve they seem to slip over nearly every DVD (and Blu-Ray) these days? Unlike box sets, they don't seem to serve any purpose. It's also annoying when you get a situation where you've got a series of movies (in my case, the James Bond Blu-Rays) and one or two don't come with the cardboard sleeve and the others do. You'd think environmental nuts would be flipping out over the wasted cardboard like they did with the long boxes that CDs used to come in back when they first game out.
* The electric razor kind of didn't make sense, since I rarely am clean shaven. I'm usually rockin' the stubble. To me, I look odd without some facial hair. It probably compensates for the lack of hair on the top of my head.
Well, that was pretty lengthy. I think it sort of makes up for my laziness throughout the week.
On Christmas Eve, I got talked into going to an early evening mass. For those of you not in the know, I'm not a church-goer. The fact that I've gone twice this year, and one of them was a funeral, speaks volumes. I was completely lost on the whole stand up, sit down, Catholic workout thing. I'm just not religious and the whole church thing, for me, is boring and uncomfortable. But it seemed important to my mother that I go, and occasionally I'm a halfway good son.
Since it was Christmas, in the afternoon I went with my parents to the cemetery to see my brother. Maybe I'm a gigantic pussy or something, but I hate going there. (I'm not scared or anything dumb like that. I hate going because it depresses me. In fact, visiting the grave earlier was the only time I can recall crying since the day of the funeral.) I've only gone to the mausoleum a handful of times since he died. I prefer to just remember my brother the way he was, and I think he'd understand, and probably be the same way if our situations were reversed. I know that I couldn't handle going every day like my father does. Don't get me wrong, I don't think an hour that I'm awake goes by where I don't think about my brother in some way. (I often catch myself thinking that I need to ask or tell him about something I saw or read.) Anyway, the cemetery aside, Christmas wasn't as depressing as I anticipated. I braced myself for the worst, but I think for the most part everybody held up pretty well, all things considered. (It still would've been better if things hadn't gone the way they had in October though.)
Moving along to more cheery topics...
I'm happy with all of my gifts, except for one. (I got a defective copy of SAINTS ROW for the Xbox 360. There was a round bump on the part of the disc near the hole in the center, which apparently makes it impossible for the 360 to read it. So I have to go through the process of returning it to Amazon and waiting for them to get it back in stock. Luckily, they pay for the postage on the return, and hopefully it doesn't take long to get a replacement.)
GEARS OF WAR 2 is pretty good. I installed it to the 360's hard drive, and I've played quite a bit of it. (The other two games I got were the aforementioned SAINTS ROW and it's sequel. I did try SR2, and it's pretty much what I expected. A nice GTA substitute.)
The games, and a few other "practical and essential" gifts like a new electric razor* aside, the rest of my haul was Blu-Rays and DVDs. The one thing I hate about Blu-Rays (aside from them usually costing a bit more than regular DVDs) is that they make watching regular DVDs a bit painful. Switching from seeing how THE DARK KNIGHT looks on Blu-Ray to 30 ROCK on DVD is like throwing bleach in your eyes. Anyway, I got a lot of both, so I shouldn't be complaining about having nothing to watch for at least a week or two.
On a related note... Am I the only one who can never decide whether or not to throw away or keep that (useless) cardboard sleeve they seem to slip over nearly every DVD (and Blu-Ray) these days? Unlike box sets, they don't seem to serve any purpose. It's also annoying when you get a situation where you've got a series of movies (in my case, the James Bond Blu-Rays) and one or two don't come with the cardboard sleeve and the others do. You'd think environmental nuts would be flipping out over the wasted cardboard like they did with the long boxes that CDs used to come in back when they first game out.
* The electric razor kind of didn't make sense, since I rarely am clean shaven. I'm usually rockin' the stubble. To me, I look odd without some facial hair. It probably compensates for the lack of hair on the top of my head.
Well, that was pretty lengthy. I think it sort of makes up for my laziness throughout the week.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Weekend Gaming And I Shop Early
I started my Christmas shopping already. I got a few things through Amazon on Sunday, and hopefully I can do all of my shopping online. I've found over the last few years that online is definitely preferable to going to stores. Pointing and clicking beats crowded stores filled with idiots.
I'm about two years behind the rest of the planet, as I have finally played and beaten the first GEARS OF WAR on Saturday. It was a decent game. I don't know if it lived up to the hype, but it definitely didn't suck. If I have one gripe, it would be that the storyline is paper thin. There's just not much to it.
Next on my 360 hit list is DEAD RISING, which I tried briefly when it came out, but I never got too into it. I'm tempted to switch the 360 back to my brother's profile when I play it, since he unlocked a bunch of stuff in the game. (I just can't bring myself to delete his profile and saved games from his consoles. I know it's sort of stupid not to since it's not like he needs them anymore.) The save system in the game is frustrating. I played for roughly two hours and died, and since I wasn't aware that the game didn't have checkpoints, I wound up having to restart from the beginning. I got annoyed and gave up for a few hours. In the evening, since there was nothing on TV, I played quite a bit. I played until the battery in the controller died. So now I've got that recharging while I write this. (I thought we had two rechargable packs for the 360 controller, but it turns out the other controller just has the regular pack that requires two AA batteries.)
I'm about two years behind the rest of the planet, as I have finally played and beaten the first GEARS OF WAR on Saturday. It was a decent game. I don't know if it lived up to the hype, but it definitely didn't suck. If I have one gripe, it would be that the storyline is paper thin. There's just not much to it.
Next on my 360 hit list is DEAD RISING, which I tried briefly when it came out, but I never got too into it. I'm tempted to switch the 360 back to my brother's profile when I play it, since he unlocked a bunch of stuff in the game. (I just can't bring myself to delete his profile and saved games from his consoles. I know it's sort of stupid not to since it's not like he needs them anymore.) The save system in the game is frustrating. I played for roughly two hours and died, and since I wasn't aware that the game didn't have checkpoints, I wound up having to restart from the beginning. I got annoyed and gave up for a few hours. In the evening, since there was nothing on TV, I played quite a bit. I played until the battery in the controller died. So now I've got that recharging while I write this. (I thought we had two rechargable packs for the 360 controller, but it turns out the other controller just has the regular pack that requires two AA batteries.)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
34
Today is my 34th birthday. Since both my brother and I enjoyed inappropriate humor (which gallows humor often is), I know for a fact that he would've laughed if I were to say that I'm upset that I'm short a gift-giver this year.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Random Thoughts For November 5, 2008
So we have a new president elect now. I expect the same amount of petty bickering between people with differing political affiliations even though the election is over. I guess this means Tina Fey (who I love) doesn't have to worry about doing "that" impression anymore.
It's hard for me to believe that it's only been exactly one month since my brother died. It just seems so much longer to me. It's still very very weird and sad for me. I'm trying not to be overly morose about it, in general, not just on here. Anyway, I've noticed that most of my posts have a liberal peppering of sentences that contain the words, "my brother". It's a slow process, I guess.
On a related (ha ha pun) note, I'm definitely not looking forward to the holidays this year.
My Rapidshare Premium account expired on Tuesday evening. I caved and tried to renew for a single month, but for whatever reason my payment wouldn't clear through PayPal. I don't know why, the debit card I used absolutely has more than enough money to cover the bill in the account. I guess that's the universe trying to tell me not to bother with renewing even for a short amount of time.
On a related (ha ha pun) note, I'm definitely not looking forward to the holidays this year.
My Rapidshare Premium account expired on Tuesday evening. I caved and tried to renew for a single month, but for whatever reason my payment wouldn't clear through PayPal. I don't know why, the debit card I used absolutely has more than enough money to cover the bill in the account. I guess that's the universe trying to tell me not to bother with renewing even for a short amount of time.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My Brother
On the night of Sunday, October 5, 2008 my younger brother David passed away. He was only 31 years old.
Never in my life has anything ever prepared me for this happening and I don't have the words to describe the devastating loss that I feel. I can only imagine how my parents feel. No parent ever expects or wants to outlive their child. I'm so worried about them. I'm doing everything that I can for them, but I'm not sure that it's enough. Seeing what they're going through, it just breaks my heart even more every time I look at them.
Since he was my little brother (even though he was bigger and taller than me), I thought that I would be looking out for him for the rest of my life. I used to find myself worrying about him being all alone once my parents and, then later on, I were gone. None of us ever thought that we would outlive him.
When I was a teenager, I'd scoff whenever my mother said that someday the two of us would be close. After all, we were complete opposites without much in common. Once I hit my teen years, we didn't spend too much time together or interact too much even though we lived under the same roof. Maybe that's a bit normal for teenagers, with the older brother not wanting his little brother to tag along. I don't know. I know that even before Dave died, that I wish that things had been a little bit different back then.
I can honestly say, that I feel that my brother was a better person than I am. He had an innocence to him that most of us lose as we become adults. He had such a big heart. He never ever did anything to hurt anybody. On the rare occasions where he'd get mad, he wouldn't stay that way for long. Because Dave was so quiet and shy, some people thought he was kind of weird. I don't even think that most of the people that did know him ever really got to know him. I feel so lucky that I did get to know him better than I did while we were growing up, and that I spent a lot of time with him over the last few years.
I think of some of his quirks and habits and just the way that he was. Depending on my mood swing at that given moment I either start laughing or I break down and cry. Sometimes both. Every time that I'm talking about him and I realize that I have to refer to him in the past tense is like a dagger in my heart. I think of the things he'll never get to do or see.
Part of me wonders if writing about this is an appropriate thing to do. After all, my brother was a very private person. I just think it's such a shame that more of the world never got to know him. I suppose it's a bit of selfishness on my part that I want to share just a tiny bit of how special he was to me with other people. I could go on and on talking about him forever. There are so many things that I could say about him and things that I wish I had said to him.
I can't say that I'm religious or that I've believed in any sort of afterlife. I really hope that I've been wrong, and that there is something else after we die. That someday I can see him again. I know that for the rest of my life, not a day will go by where I don't think about him. I loved my brother and he meant the world to me.
Never in my life has anything ever prepared me for this happening and I don't have the words to describe the devastating loss that I feel. I can only imagine how my parents feel. No parent ever expects or wants to outlive their child. I'm so worried about them. I'm doing everything that I can for them, but I'm not sure that it's enough. Seeing what they're going through, it just breaks my heart even more every time I look at them.
Since he was my little brother (even though he was bigger and taller than me), I thought that I would be looking out for him for the rest of my life. I used to find myself worrying about him being all alone once my parents and, then later on, I were gone. None of us ever thought that we would outlive him.
When I was a teenager, I'd scoff whenever my mother said that someday the two of us would be close. After all, we were complete opposites without much in common. Once I hit my teen years, we didn't spend too much time together or interact too much even though we lived under the same roof. Maybe that's a bit normal for teenagers, with the older brother not wanting his little brother to tag along. I don't know. I know that even before Dave died, that I wish that things had been a little bit different back then.
I can honestly say, that I feel that my brother was a better person than I am. He had an innocence to him that most of us lose as we become adults. He had such a big heart. He never ever did anything to hurt anybody. On the rare occasions where he'd get mad, he wouldn't stay that way for long. Because Dave was so quiet and shy, some people thought he was kind of weird. I don't even think that most of the people that did know him ever really got to know him. I feel so lucky that I did get to know him better than I did while we were growing up, and that I spent a lot of time with him over the last few years.
I think of some of his quirks and habits and just the way that he was. Depending on my mood swing at that given moment I either start laughing or I break down and cry. Sometimes both. Every time that I'm talking about him and I realize that I have to refer to him in the past tense is like a dagger in my heart. I think of the things he'll never get to do or see.
Part of me wonders if writing about this is an appropriate thing to do. After all, my brother was a very private person. I just think it's such a shame that more of the world never got to know him. I suppose it's a bit of selfishness on my part that I want to share just a tiny bit of how special he was to me with other people. I could go on and on talking about him forever. There are so many things that I could say about him and things that I wish I had said to him.
I can't say that I'm religious or that I've believed in any sort of afterlife. I really hope that I've been wrong, and that there is something else after we die. That someday I can see him again. I know that for the rest of my life, not a day will go by where I don't think about him. I loved my brother and he meant the world to me.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A Horrible Saturday For Me
I think that I can officially declare 2008 the worst year my family has ever had.
I just got home from spending 18 hours at the hospital, where my brother was taken by ambulance.
On Saturday morning his legs just stopped working. He was standing up one minute and then his legs just gave out on him and he fell. Luckily he called for an ambulance, and he was rushed the hospital. At first doctors thought it was a blood clot, which is serious, but pretty easy to treat if you catch it. It turned out to be a torn aorta, which can kill you. I guess this aorta thing could happen to pretty much anybody. It's what killed John Ritter. As a result of that his bowels had shut down and his legs hadn't been receiving any blood for an extended period of time. The doctors basically told me and my parents that they didn't expect him to live. Direct quote, "He's the sickest person in the hospital."
To say the idea of my little brother dying was devestating to me can't even come close to conveying how that feels. I spend tons of time with my brother, probably more than I spend with anybody else. He's not just my brother, he's probably my best friend. I just can't imagine having to go to his funeral, or never seeing him again. I can honestly say that if he were to die a huge part of me would die with him.
The other thing that killed me in that waiting room was watching my parents go through this. It was just heartbreaking.
Anyway, he had to undergo three surgeries. They repaired the aorta as good as new. They managed to get the blood flowing in his legs again. On top of that his bowels, which they said were most likely permanantly damaged and likely to be what was going to kill him, after the other procedures they took a look and there's no permanent damage.
So now, he's stable but still sedated and in the ICU for observation. We won't know what the extent of the damage to his legs and possibly to his mind are for a bit. I'm optimistic that he'll be okay. Hell, just going from, "he's probably not going to survive" to anything above that is a win to me. I'm just waiting for them to allow him to wake up. Then, hopefully, I can relax a bit.
So, if I'm absent the next few days, now you know why. (I imagine that once he's up, aside from hospital visits eating up a good chunk of my early evenings, things will be back to normal. Hopefully in the next few days.)
I just got home from spending 18 hours at the hospital, where my brother was taken by ambulance.
On Saturday morning his legs just stopped working. He was standing up one minute and then his legs just gave out on him and he fell. Luckily he called for an ambulance, and he was rushed the hospital. At first doctors thought it was a blood clot, which is serious, but pretty easy to treat if you catch it. It turned out to be a torn aorta, which can kill you. I guess this aorta thing could happen to pretty much anybody. It's what killed John Ritter. As a result of that his bowels had shut down and his legs hadn't been receiving any blood for an extended period of time. The doctors basically told me and my parents that they didn't expect him to live. Direct quote, "He's the sickest person in the hospital."
To say the idea of my little brother dying was devestating to me can't even come close to conveying how that feels. I spend tons of time with my brother, probably more than I spend with anybody else. He's not just my brother, he's probably my best friend. I just can't imagine having to go to his funeral, or never seeing him again. I can honestly say that if he were to die a huge part of me would die with him.
The other thing that killed me in that waiting room was watching my parents go through this. It was just heartbreaking.
Anyway, he had to undergo three surgeries. They repaired the aorta as good as new. They managed to get the blood flowing in his legs again. On top of that his bowels, which they said were most likely permanantly damaged and likely to be what was going to kill him, after the other procedures they took a look and there's no permanent damage.
So now, he's stable but still sedated and in the ICU for observation. We won't know what the extent of the damage to his legs and possibly to his mind are for a bit. I'm optimistic that he'll be okay. Hell, just going from, "he's probably not going to survive" to anything above that is a win to me. I'm just waiting for them to allow him to wake up. Then, hopefully, I can relax a bit.
So, if I'm absent the next few days, now you know why. (I imagine that once he's up, aside from hospital visits eating up a good chunk of my early evenings, things will be back to normal. Hopefully in the next few days.)
Monday, June 23, 2008
George Carlin Died
Here's the story. All I can say is that I'm bummed out about this. There aren't too many celebrity deaths that would make me sad, but this is one of them.
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