This one's a long one, so I went with the "click for more" option.
January, like December (and the end of November) before it has been a confidence destroying month for me. It also hasn't helped my bankroll any either. January 2010 was actually my first losing month since June of last year. I've been down from my bankroll's maximum since the end of November, but I have made a consistent profit every month since last July. Even in December, when I was running below expectation, I managed to turn a profit. This month was horrible though.
I'm currently down about 17 buy-ins from my maximum bankroll. 12 of which are from this month alone. This puts me back to just above what I started my month with in November of last year. Looking at my lifetime graph, I've basically been playing break even (at best) poker for about 20,000 hands. I'm starting to believe that I'll never be able to move up in stakes, let alone cash out some money again.
This graph is horrible. I ended December a winner, and immediately in January I fell below the zero line and didn't come anywhere near going above it all month.
January, like December (and the end of November) before it has been a confidence destroying month for me. It also hasn't helped my bankroll any either. January 2010 was actually my first losing month since June of last year. I've been down from my bankroll's maximum since the end of November, but I have made a consistent profit every month since last July. Even in December, when I was running below expectation, I managed to turn a profit. This month was horrible though.
I'm currently down about 17 buy-ins from my maximum bankroll. 12 of which are from this month alone. This puts me back to just above what I started my month with in November of last year. Looking at my lifetime graph, I've basically been playing break even (at best) poker for about 20,000 hands. I'm starting to believe that I'll never be able to move up in stakes, let alone cash out some money again.
This graph is horrible. I ended December a winner, and immediately in January I fell below the zero line and didn't come anywhere near going above it all month.
I'm tired of having the best hand preflop and on the flop and turn, and having some idiot shove all in on the flop or turn and hit a miracle card to beat me on the river. If I have AA they'll have KK... but then hit a third K. If I've got KK, they have AA. If I've got a straight, they'll hit a full house or a flush. One hand I had recently, I had top set, the board had no straight draws or flush draws, yet I had two opponents shove AI against me, I call with what was the best hand... and one of them rivers a flush with suited low-card trash. Strategy dictates to "get the money in while you're ahead" but that seems to consistently lose money for me.
I go over my biggest losing hands, looking for leaks, but most of the time I'm making the right plays and the other guy is just getting lucky. Yeah, I do make a bad play from time to time and lose a little more often than I lose big. (I do make the occasional idiot call and lose a stack.) What kills me are the ones where I lose the most are the hands where everybody on the various poker forums or coaching sites would say to get the money all in. It's supposed to be of comfort when you get the money in good and played a hand well and just lost due to the other guy getting lucky, but it doesn't feel that way to me.
A lot of times in January, I felt like I've wasted my time learning to play, reviewing my hand histories, studying my game, analyzing my opponents, watching videos, reading forums and eBooks. I eat, sleep, and breathe poker. I play 7 days a week. I haven't missed a day, not even holidays, since I started. I bust my ass, yet I've been consistently losing. Or I make a good chunk back and get hit hard by a few big hands, and then I'm at a loss.
I feel like all I've done since the end of November is whine about poker. And I was winning then, just not like I wanted.
I obviously missed my main goal of making money. I also only managed to play 3/4 as many hours in January as I normally do. I did at least hit my goal of playing a minimum of 10,000 hands this month.
February's goals are modest. (The first two are pretty much goals that never change.)
1) Make a profit. (In fact, try to make enough to cash out a bit and move up to the next level in stakes.)
2) Fix more leaks in my game and work on improving my hand reading even more.
3) Play 15,000+ hands. (Kinda hard when I've got a puppy to deal with, and can't put in as many hours as I used to.)
4) Possibly add in another table. (I won't do this until I'm profitable again though. In fact, if I continue to lose, I'll go back to one-tabling if I have to.)
I've got a long, steep climb back up ahead of me now.
I go over my biggest losing hands, looking for leaks, but most of the time I'm making the right plays and the other guy is just getting lucky. Yeah, I do make a bad play from time to time and lose a little more often than I lose big. (I do make the occasional idiot call and lose a stack.) What kills me are the ones where I lose the most are the hands where everybody on the various poker forums or coaching sites would say to get the money all in. It's supposed to be of comfort when you get the money in good and played a hand well and just lost due to the other guy getting lucky, but it doesn't feel that way to me.
A lot of times in January, I felt like I've wasted my time learning to play, reviewing my hand histories, studying my game, analyzing my opponents, watching videos, reading forums and eBooks. I eat, sleep, and breathe poker. I play 7 days a week. I haven't missed a day, not even holidays, since I started. I bust my ass, yet I've been consistently losing. Or I make a good chunk back and get hit hard by a few big hands, and then I'm at a loss.
I feel like all I've done since the end of November is whine about poker. And I was winning then, just not like I wanted.
I obviously missed my main goal of making money. I also only managed to play 3/4 as many hours in January as I normally do. I did at least hit my goal of playing a minimum of 10,000 hands this month.
February's goals are modest. (The first two are pretty much goals that never change.)
1) Make a profit. (In fact, try to make enough to cash out a bit and move up to the next level in stakes.)
2) Fix more leaks in my game and work on improving my hand reading even more.
3) Play 15,000+ hands. (Kinda hard when I've got a puppy to deal with, and can't put in as many hours as I used to.)
4) Possibly add in another table. (I won't do this until I'm profitable again though. In fact, if I continue to lose, I'll go back to one-tabling if I have to.)
I've got a long, steep climb back up ahead of me now.
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